“You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.”
This morning as I was reading with two of my children, our subject led to a discussion of leadership and the responsibility that comes with authority. Thinking to tie in something they were familiar with, I reminded of them of the statue that has stood in the foyer of the church in which they had spent most of their lives. Pretty much every child who grew up in the Anaheim Vineyard knows the story of Jesus washing Peter’s feet, for they’ve all climbed over the life-size figures of the two men every Sunday and are as familiar with “The Divine Servant” as with any member of the congregation.
Except that during the pandemic, we found ourselves drawn to meet with a different branch of the Vineyard family, and when the church in Anaheim left the Vineyard movement, we realized that it would no longer be our home, and my children haven’t been in the building in two and half years. So when I prompted them about the story behind the statue, I got blank stares.
“Um…. I think I kind of remember it,” my 11-year old said at last, scrunching up her face as she tried to figure out what I was talking about since she could tell it was important to me.
And inside I just wanted to cry. Only yesterday I was telling someone I was past the emotional response to losing our church home, and then this morning this exchange revealed that while the wound may have closed, it is still raw and tender. Little things I once took for granted have now been revealed to be great blessings.
Last night as I attending a meeting with Friends of Vineyard, I soaked in the joy of being with my church family. Did I really used to get to see these beautiful souls every week? Did I really once pass them in the halls, smile, greet them, and move on? Did I have any idea how much I would miss them when we all found ourselves scattered? Could I ever have imagined that my children wouldn’t remember Jesus washing Peter’s feet? A thousand tiny blessings were such a regular part of our lives that we didn’t stop to thank the Lord for them until we found ourselves without them.
And so one thing I can be thankful for in the midst of all the hurt and disruption is that the Lord has opened my eyes to pay attention to the countless little blessings He so lavishly bestows upon my each and every day.
